Secrets of the Opposite Sex

Lack of communication skills and always lead to misunderstand.

I think i am moving towards this. :) It seems hard for me to do the way of thinking while I was still in the studying's time. Everything seems to be more complicated, actually I make it seems complicated to myself. I am learning back something I have been forgotten :Learn to relax, take a deep breath and not take hard on small matters.

Please pray for me, for ALlah let me always be in control of myself. :)

So, here i am. Came accross a nice article for me, and to share it with all of you. The tittle, it does not mean between , boyfriend & girlfriend, or husband & wife only but wider perspective to friends, sisters & brothers, daugther/mother and father/son, and even between boss and subordinates. Have a nice day.


Secrets of the Opposite Sex

Many jokes, problems, and conversations revolve around the communications differences between men and women. Women are often teased for "gabbing," "nagging," and "chattering on about nothing." Men are often accused of "not listening," "not paying attention," or "dominating conversation" when conversing with a woman. These problems occur because neither gender is reading the others nonverbal and verbal listening cues correctly.

During conversation, women tend to give nonverbal communications feedback such as nodding and smiling as well as verbal feedback like "I know what you mean" or "uh, huh" or "right...exactly" which lets the speaker know he or she is making sense. Men, on the other hand, tend to stay silent when listening and don't give much nonverbal feedback to the speaker because they are concentrating on what the speaker is saying and feel they are being polite. These differences in listening styles often cause difficulty in communications between men and women.

When a man is speaking with a woman, he often misreads the woman's listening cues to mean he should continue speaking, not that he is simply making sense and therefore men continue talking and often dominate conversation. Women, in turn, often misread the quiet listening cues of the man to mean that he is bored with the conversation or that she is not making sense. Therefore, women often cut their part of the conversation short, repeat things they already stated, or ask the man they are speaking with if he understands what is being said. This causes many men to feel that they are being nagged or that the woman is unsure of herself and what she is saying.

To help make mixed gender conversations work more smoothly, men should try to give more nonverbal or verbal listening feedback to female speakers. Men should also realize that the verbal and nonverbal listen cues given to them by the women the are speaking with mean only that the woman understands what is being said, not that the man should continue talking and dominate the conversation. Women should learn not to be concerned if the men they are talking to aren't giving the listening cues they are accustomed to. Usually, if the male listener is quite, he is listening. So, ladies, don't ask him if he understands what is being said.

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