HELP! i am DEMOTIVATED!

have you heard it before? yeah.. i guess years back when this blog was first discovered.
i am really2 demotivated. i am moving towards hating my work place. the people i am working with or going to work with or whatsoever it is.

i always try to avoid being in an agressive environment, as i know that at most time i wont be able to hold my anger. now i am not supposed to say anything as things are not at my level.!!!

someone, pls motivate me back?

Gosh!

I did it again!

At the moment i wrote this, i just shoot a sharp email to all the big people in the TO & CC list. Gosh, langgar protokol lagi.. tak tahuler ape yang menanti plak ni..
Kata seorang, harimau awak yang dah diam lama tu tiba2 mengaum ke.

Aishhhh... pray no bad things await me. :D
Teringat plak pepatah, terlajak perahu boleh diundur. Terlajak tekan SEND, hanya VIRUS je yang boleh erase..

err..should i send an email-virus now?

Done

it has been a while.
not that i don't wnat to write anything here. But i have the feeling of distinguish the writtings between personal matters and what i want people to know. i was hoping that i don't write much. afraid of letting my inner freedom being seen by so many eyes.

i guess i am being too pampered with my boss. and it turns out me becoming more not productive. or is it actually the environment surrounding me that give the unproductive energy towards every one else. so many people were asking me the questions on what happened here as my division is the one involved with the so-called havoc. i can't share with people over here, as to respect the terms & conditions of being the employee. most of them saying that i am saying negatively, but i have the ground of saying those things.

so what would i share with my fellow friends here.. remember, few years back i was discussing about the economy situation in Malaysia and predicted that the inflation is going to strike in malaysia soon, and the petrol price is going to go down when it was high. i(now i have the guilty feeling of not sharing what i know the most with my friends). i am not saying that i know it is going to be, not saying that i am dam* good with the figures and facts of economic statistic. to be honestly, i have the feeling of loosing the idea and picture of those numbers. but from the condition i have now, something is reallly really not right with Malaysia.. (if i am going to say what i want to say, will i be arrested? well u know that bloggers are being monitored by the government isn't it? )

i see the ideas, of which it is good. but i also have the feeling, implementation is not as good as on the paper. when things are not going smoothly, then there is something wrong with the current state of economy and the management of the country. continuanity of this will resulting in Malaysia becoming like Indonesia's state of economy. i have to gather all the facts before present the opinions. i guess most of the readers are already aware the possibility that we are going to be a stranger in our own land. Macam melukut di tepi gantang, menang bersorak kampung tergadai...

it hurts so much. so much to think about my own people, about my own land that more and more of them are becoming not Malays.. and indirectly not practising themselves as a muslim. i was thinking about the batlle of hundreds of years to fight for our own rights; thinking that all the people who were killed and died to protect our belief that God is One, to protect the land, the people, and the life of the next generations..

mungkin saya tidak pernah mengkaji secara mendalam tentang sejarah negara saya sendiri. mungkin saya hanya tahu sedikit sahaja. walau saya bercakap dan menulis dalam bahasa lain, tapi saya kira saya lebih mahir di dalam bahasa sendiri... menulis di dalam bahasa lain, supaya ilmu tidak hilang begitu sahaja kerana saya adalah insan yang tidak kuat ingatannya.

kadang2 terfikir, kesiannya kepada adik2 sekarang. belajar sudahlah sangat susah; kemudian sains dan matematik ditukar-ajar ke bahasa inggeris. sometimes i was thinking what is the point of doing that? untuk mudah dapat kerja nanti? untuk jadikan lebih berdaya saing? untuk lebih banyak mengkaji ilmu2 itu di dalam bahasa lain? kenapalah nak dibebankan budak2 itu saya rasa. kalau tujuannya supaya mereka dapat mengkaji ilmu2 sains dan matematik dgn baik, tukar ajeler silibus dan pendekatan pengajaran supaya lebih menjurus ke arah itu. kalau nak katakan untuk kerja dan lebih berdaya saing, kenapa tak wajibkan sahaja semua pengajaran di IPT Malaysia di buat dalam bahasa inggeris? saya sendiri pun sekolah dulu belajar bahasa melayu. alHamdulillah boleh dikatakan agak berjaya juga sekarang. saya kira ramai sudah graduan2 yang berjaya dan hebat2 yang dulu di sekolahnnya memang sekolah yang bahasanya bahasa kebangsaan. apalahh masalahnya dengan negara sendiri, bila niat seorang diri hancurkan seluruh masa depan negara. terlupa agaknya setiap seorang dari rakyat akan datang menuntut hak mereka di akhirat nanti.

p/s: peringatan untuk diri sendiri:
panjang pulak kali ini. sudahlah tu, awak tu pun entah ke mana hala tujuan. macam bagus sahaja tulis gitu dan gini. pulang sahajalah, marilah pulang sebelum bertambah kelam...

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...
so many things to write and share.
yet, due to my own lack of self management, this is the only thing i am able to share...

flying high

i am flying high.....

resume non-stop trainings as usuall.
my trainees seem very cooperative. and they responding to my questions.
the class is fun and live. Quite happy teaching the class.

met other colleagues and bosses after the class.
we were having some chit chat. the boss shared some info from the group discussion, about the situation of a customer service agent received a call from a customer. The conversation went on and on. The customer seemed impressed with the agent. and here was the 'so-called-conversation':

Customer: Are you the manager?
Agent: No, i am not.
Customer: Are you the team leader?
Agent: No, i am not.
Customer: Who taught you all this?
....

It turns out that the agent is under the responsiblity of my training unit. I do not know who is the agent, nor do i know who taught the agent.
But i am still happy, because the agent is under our territory..
hehhe
i'm flying high. :P
alHamdulillah.......

at least, something better to hear after all the mess and bad news and havoc things and etc etc..
:)

Lost

I wonder why every time I had some good ideas to update my blog, I will be unable to do so due to network problem, or not being in front of the PC. Yet when I have the chance to be in front of the PC and there is no problem with the network, I’ll loss the idea to write.

Few days ago I was a little bit down. Depression. The reason? I felt ashamed of myself. I was trying to write an essay about my carrier plan and ambition outline, but found out I lost the words and the construction of the sentences were not to my satisfying. A friend of mine assisted me to do some proof reading. AlHamdulillah. At last it was done. But I think I have lost my ability to construct a good essay as I did during my studying time… It is difficult to describe how I feel, it was seems I do not appreciate my knowledge and continuously applying the value learnt in myself. Insha-Allah I will try to continuously make myself learning.

Went thru the tons of emails, my eyes found this :

"Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman."

- Surah Al-Imran ayat 139

At that point of time, I felt a little bit better. As if God knows better, the surah came just at the right time. So I let it go and put all hopes to Allah SWT. If it is good for me, it is meant for me. If it is not meant for me, means it is not good to me. : )

Anyway, I appreciate those who want to put comments not hiding behind anonymous identity. Have a nice day.