Monday, June 28, 2004

Blank

What a tired day... I was thinking of an urgent leave today, but suddenly remember that i need to go to taiping tommorow for a last meeting and then have to attend a some sort of jamuan at brickfields to celebrate those who will not stay in Contact Centre Mgt Division (CCMD), in which i believe that will make my boss to call me up to go to the office..

Yesterday, my sister got engaged. A younger one. Soalan yg biasa kite dgr bila adik yg dahulu; patutnya akak die dulu, akak die bile plak.. dan jawapan yg kite tak biasa dgr ialah: aku gelak jer. Takdelah rasa humilated ke rasa tak laku ke (walaupun mungkin mmg tak laku kot?;O hahahha), cuma rasa yg pasti mmg penat laa sesgt buat kenduri ni. Actually, a couple of year back my mom mmg reluctant utk dahulukan adik but i told her kalau dah sampai masa takyah tangguh2, die nak kawin kawinkan aje. As for me, insya-Allah ada jodoh i will get married. After all of that, i think my brother's statement yg paling berdesing jer dgr..tapi sabar ajeler when he said, "Nak tunggu along kawin, sampai ke tualah jawabnyer". Kesian mak..anak die memilih sgt..

erks.. okler ade hal kena keluar sat dgn boss. This noon seems like i will go straigth to the brickfields. So see ya later. bye!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Time-In: Lonely

Well, I’m back with more words and sentences and topics to discuss about. Al-Hamdulillah, I was given some spare time pula utk tulis panjang2 kali ni. Maybe because I am just settling my works and simple jobs were given for me to do while waiting for my transfer.

Since it seems so hard to see a friend of mine be coming back after a longgg “Timeout”, maybe I should make a move myself to do some Time-In. heeh gurau je yer. Are you lonely? Isn’t it absolutely Lonely? Less lonely? Or not lonely at all? Soalan ni kawan aku kasi. Die suh korang jawab dan explain sendiri. Ekke I have no answer regarding this thing, it just a rhetoric question for you yourself;)

Actually, pasal kuiz tu kan, if U can see I told U that there was ½ hour story that was accidentally UNDO from my writing. Betullah tu sape yg bagi jawapan DAN. :) It was just a joke, don’t take it seriously. Nvm, kalau sempat next time I will throw the ideas again-but yet the ideas was not as fantastic as it seems to be with the quiz. Hahaha

Ha, iklan sat. I received this from alumni newsletter, huhuhu Kak Rudi ni..nampak gaya kena buat appointment dengan dia ni. Iklan tu pasal talk on searching ur soulmate kat MMU: extracted from the newsletter:

02. STILL SEARCHING YOUR SOULMATE?
President Office (PO) is going to organize a special talk on how to choose your ideal soul mate. Those who are still single and available are strongly recommended to join this talk. It will be presented by Puan Rudiah Ahmad, MMU Executive from ISSU Unit Cyberjaya. Below are the details

Title : "Calon Suami Pilihan"
Date : 2hb Julai 2004 (Jumaat)
Time : 3.00 - 5.00 petang
Venue : Cyberjaya - Makmal NMES, Tingkat 1, Bangunan FOE.
Melaka - Makmal NMES, Tingkat 2, Bangunan CLC.

Please RSVP to "lynda@mmu.edu.my" not later 21 June 2004. Seats are limited

**Tepuk tangan utk Kak Rudi**

I was trying to clean up some space in my yahoo mail when I found out about this article. Maybe I can relate it with what this time postage is focusing on: Looking for life partner. It’s worth reading for those who think that why Allah SWT has not lead anyone for you yet (seems like it refers to me best)., yg berbeza cuma aku lebih merasakan kekosongan perlu diisi sbb tuntutan masyarakat . Mungkin itu tanggapan aku buat masa ni kan. Esok lusa, Allahu’alam. (mizie, aku letak footrope dgn betui dah..hehe). Ok, utk semua:

Saatku Istikharah

Aku tidak tahu kenapa, jauh di sudut hati ini, kupendam suatu perasaan yang begitu sukar untukku luah... Aku mengaku, cemburunya hati ini bila melihat Nurul selalu mendapat jambangan bunga! wangian jambangan bunga setiap kaliku mengintai bilik bacaannya, menambahkan rasa cemburu... yang hanya menunggu masa untukku muntahkan keluar!

Ku lihat Salmi, tidak kurang bezanya! Asyik bergayut dengan handsetnya.. hampir siang dan malam!" Ayang tengah makan..Abang dah makan ke"... telingaku bagaikan dah bernanah mendengar ucapan-ucapan romantis mereka berdua...!

Nak ku kata tentang Amy, Miza, Ain, Huda... Ahhhhh semuanya sama! Di rumah sewa itu,hanya aku saja yang kesepian... hanya aku saja yang keseorangan! Memang aku akui... cinta sesama manusia, tak ke mana akhirnya! Tetapi apakan dayaku... aku juga seorang wanita yang ingin disayangi, ingin dibelai.. aku juga mahukan kata-kata semangat dari lelaki, setiap kali aku menghadapi saat-saat hampirnya peperiksaan! Aku juga mahu bunga, teddybear... mahu perfume... dan aku juga mahu segalanya yang telah dirasai Amy, Miza Ain, Huda dan.....!

Seolah-olah aku ditakdirkan hidup keseorangan... menemani kesepian hatiku yang merayu minta diisi segera dengan kasih lelaki....!

Kepada Allah jua aku memohon, jalanNya saja pilihanku! Ya Allah, andainya perasaan ini hanyalah semata-mata nafsu yang tak habis-habis melulu, menggesa...maka kepadaMu kupohon petunjuk...kembalikan hati ini mengingatiMu...hanya Mu!

Ramai juga yang menyapaku," tak nak ke rasa, berkawan dengan lelaki..." ...tapi semua soalan-soalan itu... aku endahkan saja! Umpama masuk telinga kiri... ku keluarkan di telinga kanan!!!

Akhirnya aku kalah juga pada ajakan kengkawan...sehinggalah seorang Nurul memperkenalkan aku dengan seorang lelaki si "A" . umur kami sama, dan kami sama-sama pelajar IPT... Entah kanapa hatiku tiba-tiba setuju... di depan Nurul aku mengangguk tunduk... Nurul tersenyum... melihat telatahku!

Setelah persetujuan aku dan Si "A" diterima, Nurul mengatur perbualan telefonku dengan si "A"... Aku tidak memiliki handset sendiri... jadi terpaksalah menggunakan handset milik Nurul untuk sementara!

Percayakah kalian, kalau ku kata, itulah kali pertama aku berbual dengan seorang lelaki sepanjang hidupku! Perbualan selama 8 minit itu, kami tamatkan dengan ucapan salam... tak banyak yang kami borak... sekadar menyentuh hal keluarga... dan butir-butir peribadi... itu saja!

"Apakah yang telah aku lakukan Ya Allah! Wajarkah aku memperdengarkan suaraku kepada seorang lelaki? Kenapa aku begitu ingin dengan cinta? Selang beberapa hari... perbualan telefon antara aku dan si "A", hatiku merintih hiba... aku ...aku menyesal!

Lalu aku membuat keputusan tidak mahu lagi berbual dengan si "A"... aku tidak mahu berkawan dengan lelaki... aku tidak mahu bercinta!" aku mula bertekad... aku yang mulakan semuanya, jadi juga yang perlu hentikannya!

Lalu aku istikarah kepada Allah, semalaman aku masih tak dapat jawapan!Masuk 2 hari, 3 hari... Alhamdulillah kini ku dapat melihat gambarannya dengan jelas... Dialah Bakal Suamiku... Pembimbingku Dunia Akhirat! Orangnya tinggi, berjanggut... kulitnya hitam manis... bibirnya tak pernah lekang dengan senyuman! Dia memimpin tanganku menuju suatu tempat yang begitu indah... wangiannya menusuk jiwa dan kalbuku... tempat yang pernah kuimpikan... mungkinkah syurga! Detus hatiku... Selain aku ada dua orang kanak-kanak lelaki memimpin tanganku! Aku hairan dengan mimpi itu! Andai itu jawapan untuk istikarahku... siapa kanak-kanak itu? Mungkinkah anak-anakku? Aku tersenyum gembira dengan mimpuku malam itu...Ya Allah...di manakah suamiku!

Nurul ke bilikku suatu hari... sebelum aku sempat memberitahu padanya keputusanku tidak mahu berkawan dengan si "A"... Dia hulurkan padaku sekeping gambar foto! ...Inilah Si"A"... Dia poskan!" kata Nurul... Ya Allah..! alangkah terkejutnya aku menatap wajah lelaki yang menghiasi gambar foto itu... lelaki itu seperti kukenal... seperti pernah kujumpa sebelum ini... tapi
dimana... ingatanku semakin jelas... MasyaAllah dialah lelaki yang hadir dalam mimpiku! Wajahnya, janggutnya... cahaya di wajahnya... Ya Allah! Berkali-kali aku menampar pipiku... ternyata aku bukannya bermimpi... "Ya Allah... Dialah jodohku...!

Bermula dari hari itu, aku sering mendoakan kesihatannya, kebahagiaannya, keselamatannya... Kepada Allah swt aku serahkan dan sandarkan segalanya!"

Sehingga ke hari ini... ukhwah itu masih terjalin... masuk bulan ni usianya sudah menjangkau 2 tahun...! Dan dengarlah kalian bahawa ku benar-benar hanyut dalam cinta yang diperkenalkannya...

kami sering mengutus surat, tapi tak pernah ia didahului dan diakhiri selain kata-kata hikmah Islamiah, selain dari cerita beberapa tokoh Islam... Kami saling tukar info.. dan segala ilmu darinya... kini dah jadi koleksi peribadi... yang masih kutatap sehingga ke hari ini...

Kami berbual telefon sekali setiap 2 minggu, tapi jangan salahfaham bukan antara aku dan si "A"... tapi antara ibuku dan ibunya... antara ahli keluargaku dan keluarganya...! Betapa indahnya hubungan yang terjalin ini... Moga ia kekal selamanya...

Adab tidur... makan ... dan segalanya masih kuamalkan...! Harijadiku kini juga dipenuhi dengan hadiah,sesuatu yang aku impikan dulu... Tahun pertama, dia hadiahkan aku senaskah Al-Quran, aku membalasnya dengan sehelai sejadah...

Tahun kedua diberinya aku buku agama "Isteri Solehah Igauan Suami" ...aku membalasnya dengan senaskah buku agama "Suami Idaman Isteri Solehah"...

Tahun ketiga... Harijadiku semakin hampir... dan aku sedang menanti hadiahnya... kerana hadiah darinya begitu berharga... begitu bermakna... malah kupercaya, bukan saja bagiku... tetapi juga bagi semua wanita solehah di luar sana!

Dikala aku menyangka lelaki sejati telah pupus di alam maya ini... di kala itulah kau hadir... membuktikan ada lagi Lelaki sejati... Ada lagi Cinta yang diredhai Allah....

Walaupun ramai yang meminati si "A" di IPTnya... Tapi aku yakin..Dia Milikku...! Kerana kuyakin dengan jawapan yang kuperolehi dalam istikharahku... dan aku tidak akan mengalah... aku akan terus berdoa..! "Ya Allah...Andai dirinya tercipta untukku... menjadi milikku...Baik untuk duniaku... untuk akhiratku... untuk agamaku... maka satukanlah kami dunia dan akhirat... Ku pohon restu dan keizinanMu selamanya Ya Allah!"

Inilah doaku sejak dirinya ku kenal... dan sehingga hari ini... doa ini masih kupanjatkan... dan sehingga kini jugalah... ukhwah ini masih terbina kukuh... masih utuh...

Bila kupohon sesuatu Yang Baik DariNya... Dia Selalu Berikanku... Yang Terbaik!!!

Di Antara...

Salam buat semua. Moga berada dlm rahmat Allah SWT sepanjang hari ini. How do you do today?

Well, right now i am at TM Brickfields, waiting for the 'sifoo' to teach me about the future job i'll be doing starting by 1st July nanti. Ntah manalah sifoo aku ni ilang lagi.

By the way, how was the quiz being answered? Someone has been answering it correctly to me. Hehe, i guess u people have a verry complicated way of thinking, kan? nvm, i'll give another clue to find the answer; apa ada di antara coklat dan gula2? apa ada di antara asam dan garam?

Certain people are given a verry easy, straight forward way of thinking. They see things as the first thing it is. For example, suasana suram bila lampu terpadam. Sometimes kite panggil mereka ni org yg lurus, atau kalau terlalu baik: lurus bendul. Percaya apa sahaja yg diperkatakan kepada mereka.

Meanwhile, some people (most of the time women) they perceived things differently. There is another meaning pop up back of their brains telling different meaning. Most of the time, kite kate double meaning. Macam kdg2 peribahasa melayu nak tegur org diorang gune bhs berbunga2.

For me myself, certain things make me think straight forward coz that make it easier for myself to absorb things at one time. To certain people, they think that i am somehow not verry sensitive with the environment, or just palying with their words. But, to the extend of time when i have time to think back somehow i usually found out people means the other thing around when they were talking to me. You can tell me straigth to their face, still do not forget to hold their dignity/ air muka. Meanwhile, u found out that make it mostly difficult at this time as people understands two things only: Whether it is Black or White; whether it is bitter or sweet, whether it is good or bad. In this kind of world, believe me, nothing is imposibble. There will be black in white, which makes it to be gray: light gray, darker gray, crayon gray, smoke gray etc etc. There is also make a taste of rasa lemak (ape dlm bi describe ek? Takkan rasa fat kot?:)) ), which was a mixture of bitterness and sweetness: and there is also good things that come out from bad things. If not, the english will not come out with proverb on "Being cruel to be kind".

Oklah, the quiz is still open. I will get back to you all later on. Now, keje kat sini looks like dah selesai sebehagian. So i will get back to u later on when i have more time to do that.

Sekian utk kali ini.
Wasalam.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Pindah

Assalamualaikum buat semua..
Selamat pagi..

Pagi ni terasa weird sket bila sampai ofis nampak sebahagian partition tu dah kosong. Usually macam2 mende terlekat kat partitition tu. Semalam dah kemas sebahagian barang2 kat sini, barang2 hiasan dan hadiah org je dah satu kotak. Tu pun nampaknyer masih tak muat. Hehe banyak plak ek. Dok letak je kat ofis malas nak bawak balik. Waduh, sudah mau berangkat pergi ya daku ini.. Pergi bertukar boss...

Masuk je ofis pagi2 ni, boss sudah bising2. Die kate aku ni tak check ngan staff pasal payment, tak nasihat staff betul2, tak warning staff etc etc, tapi selalunyer die yg handle bab2 finance dan marah2 org ni. Ntah kenapa yg ni plak die terlepas, dan aku juga yg dimarah. huhu. terima je ler kan..

====
Em.. selepas lebih sejam, nampaknyer boss pun dah cool down lepas gi ngadap die. Tak sempat nak post tadi.

Ok, few days back i received a sms from a friend asking me about my feeling to the sender saying this:
"BENCI? abaikan saja sms ini
KAWAN? -balas balik
RINDU? - Missed call 1x
SAYANG? - Missed Call 3x
bla bla bla"

So, what i did is send back the sms, and missed call 2 times. What does that means? Seorg kawan, antara rindu dan sayang. ahhaha So soalan kuiz utk anda semua ialah...
Apakah yg berada di antara Rindu dan Sayang?
haaa jawab jawab..sape jawab betul i kasi u hadiah...heheh

===
10.22 am
aiyaaaaaaa selepas 1/2 jam menaip tiba2 terundo.. aaa tension jadinyer. Takpelah, tak sempat nak cerite sekarang. I get back to u all later. bye.
Ops, sebelum terlupa.. ape jawapan soalan kuiz kat atas? kui kui kui...

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Gambar kawin kawan2

Ok, tak sempat nak komen just post up gambar dulu la ek


Zila & Jojie


Sarah & Mumu


Jie & Assalam


Ramai2

Friday, June 11, 2004

Berhenti Mengharap

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Salam, bukan sekadar ucapan tapi juga doa. Pembuka dan penutup segala pertemuan, mengeratkan ukhuwah.. Cumanya, bukan semua dpt menghayati erti sebenar itu semua termasuklah aku!

Well, sekali lagi bertemu Jumaat. Insya-Allah, if everything else goes on smoothly, i will be moved out from bukit mahkamah's office to hold a harder responsibility at Business Control, Contact Centre Management Division. Cam gempak je kan nama department die.. eheh Telekom ni macam tak kasi org nak kawin kot, tgklah lagi diberi keje berat2. Camni nak curi masa cari 'org' pun tak sempat. ehe kidding all:p

When i was a little bit younger, i think that i have a stronger faith and positive attitude towards almost everything. I always believed that if i was given something or suddenly changing my easy-going, simple to a complicated, tighth path it was because Allah SWT wants to prepare me for something that i need to do in the future. I believed that HE wants to smooth out my work later on, to give a place for me in HIS world. No matter how hard it was, i won't regret and i won't stop doing it. I always believed that there is nothing impossible for the God to do, if HE wants it. I always believed that all HE has to do is to grant, and it will be as what HE wants. That was the reason why i have a verry strong will last time, in which some people see them as keras kepala, keras hati, energetic, too idealistic, argumentative; which is tooo strong and tooo much to be in the body and soul of a woman.

But when i entered into working life, as time past i found out that my belief seems to shattered away. Indirectly, i found out that my thoughts were always too idealistic to be true, in which i always said to my friends (in past time) that i still believe i can make it with my ideas. Slowly, i change my heart from listening to my mind and knowledge to listen to my ears for what people are talking and giving comments on.. It's hard to reject and not believing what u see and what u hear. What can i say, the heart has to go through ears first before the mind; the confirmaty of the facts given by the ears to the heart is streghten by the what the eyes see. I am not that good, positive person anymore. *Istigfar diri* Astagfirullahal 'azim.. (May Allah forgives me) .

Currently i am listening to some old songs yg aku burned dlm CD masa belajar dulu. Lagu nasyid willdone (Menara gading), brothers (Kesaksian), Ik'tiraf.. among the songs i love, sometimes bila dgr semula terasa macam baru ajer aku tinggalkan dunia tu. Tup2 rupanyer sudah 2 thn aku habis belajar. 4 tahun belajar dulu, bukanlah sekejap aku rasa sbb macam2 yg aku dah buat dan rasai. Terlalu byk pengalaman. Betullah kate pendapat, sebahagian apa yg dirasai sekarang pahit dan sukar nanti bila masa hadapan ianya boleh jadi manis.

Oho, ade org remind suruh update blog. ehhe Semalam mmg nak update blog, tapi ramai sgt 'kaco'. Ada yg suh dengar/hantar lagu william hung (american idol, tp sakit tinger sket dgr lagu dia), suh komen lagu baru SO7: Berhenti Mengharap (hehe macam rahsia tersirat yg disuratkan aje;) ), dgn aku sendiri yg dok explore yahoo baru (fenin fenin) , dgn org yg suh aku terjemahkan kata2 aku sendiri. hehe sibuk2, tapi meriah. seronok betul dpt kwn2 macam ni, walau jarang jumpa still boleh keep in touch. :) Cuma maaflah, network mmg problem kan. So kdg2 je dpt online, masa tu lah boleh reply. Kalau diam terus tandanya tak boleh online la tu.

Oklah, I can't talk much. Still a lot to do and catch up before boss balik ofis next week. It's better to give some good 'goodbye' looks although sebelum ni mmg ade melakukan unsur2 pemberontakan.. hehe take care all. And lastly, to a friend of mine that still have nice thoughts on me thanx for being such a wonderful friend. You know who u are. To all, the old song that i downloaded yesterday for you to listen. Dedicated specially for dwicahaya. ehhe until we meet again.. Till then, take care!

~~TM: Dload kat 200.7.10.249.
~~Non-TM: Dload la kat mana2.. ehhe:p

:::
Ku mencari, ke mencari apakah salahku,
Kau buatku termenung seorangan
Dlm diri sangsi akhirnya begini
perpisahan tak ku duga

Ku mengerti ku fahami keputusan ini
Biar saja aku sebegini
Permintaan terakhirku
Jangan kau lafazkan
Simpan saja kata-kata, oho..

Jangan diucap selamat tinggal
Jangan kau ucap selamat tinggal
Jangan diucap selamat tinggal
Kepadaku.. (2x)

Walaupun seketika walaupun sekelip mata
Simpan saja kata-kata ke akhir hayat yang ada
Walaupun seketika walaupun sekelip mata
Simpan saja kata-kata ke akhir hayat yang ada
:::
Shades: Jangan Diucap Selamat Tinggal.

~~~

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Two Lines

Someone told me that:
"Life is a matter of choice not the matter of chance.
If you are willing to have high return, you must willing to face high risk"


I feel that this statement is quite ambitious.. The person who said such words must be someone who has confidence in themselves, so much confident that if you don't dare enough to fight back better shut your mouth up. And i thought that well, maybe that's right!! We choose what we want for ourselves, although sometimes we do not know whether we will be succeed or not.

It's the willingness to face whatever obstacles in front to own the goals/dream. Whether you are a high risk taker or mild risk taker.. You may go and receive higher if u are a high risk taker, but if you fall down you hurt more than the mild risk taker..

Yet, i am not sure whether i am really that high risk taker..


But suddenly i came accross this statement:
"Chance is a gift for those who try"

Well, sometimes you are not sure about the risk and you do not have enough sources in your hands. What will you do? See what you have in front of you, whenever the chance comes grab it. If not much, at least a little at one time. Sometimes, it's that little thing that counted in your life. Something like let it comes to you slowly and naturally, perhaps you will appreciate it better.
Absolutely, this is different between "wait and see" situation where no guts needed and in the end it doesn't even matter..

Yet, at most time we do not appreciate the chances given to us...


By compiling both of the above statement, i think that it's true at most of the time we decide everything for ourselves. That throw us in a serious, concentrate strategic planning and decision making.

And chance is a break to that monotenous world, that added sugar and spice into it; that help us see things from a different angle. Who knows that one day your dreams will come true faster than what you are working for..

In the end between this two lines, still i do not know where am i standing...

Duh~~ why am i so complicated..