Tuesday, September 16, 2008

16th Ramadhan 1429

It has been more than half-a-month now.
Leaving us with the remaining 13-14 days to go. How much have we done so far... This is a rhetoric question to ourselves.

I have been asking myself on these few days if i am already taking enough advantage of this holy month. Somehow, i feel like i am missing something. Something that make me feel not complete, but i cannot figure out yet what is it. Have i left or not doing something that i used to do during Ramadhan? Have i wrong doings anything? Perhaps someone was hurt because of me?

Despite of the fact that i have been officially transferred into another division, i don't feel the kick inside me yet. Something that i have been looking for months; afraid that i might actually unconsciously accepted the comfort-zone culture here and slowly adapted to it.

Maybe the adrenaline has been hiding somewhere inside my body that it makes me being cold inside out. Guess, you may suggest alternatives to burn back the spirit and heat up the motivation level in me?

Anyway, this Ramadhan.. will be the first time being a student again after all these years. hehe not so much different only the facts that i am pushing myself to read and prepare things for the class. Though it is hard, the self-reluctant is even bigger now :p.

I have no idea at the moment what else to share with the visitors here.
So till then, take care. :)

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Superior vs Inferior

[1] The Postponed Wish
Guess it is quite late to say a happy Ramadhan. But it will never be too late to improve ourself, right? So far alHamdulillah we already fasting for 8-9 days.

I am not sure if i am the only one feeling it, but the environment when the Ramadhan comes is somehow does change. The scenary, the air, the feeling.. Ada sedikit rasa sayu.. But still this is the best month if you want to practise doing good deeds. It is the easiest time around the clock, and around the year to do such things. As if we are smoothly and gently push towards it. If you compare this in the normal months, you can have like thousand execuses but a valid one why not doing it - laziness.

So the remaining 21 days..Let's work it out together for the best! May all of us get the Promised Night - Malam Lailatul Qadr. InshaAllah. AMiin.

[2] My Article
For a certain people, comparing themselves with other will either give a feeling of superiority. Some will have the feeling of inferiority.

The feeling of superiority gives an over confidence and higher ego, if not manage properly will make it difficult for the person to face the life if he/she fails to achieve to his/her expectation. The feeling of inferiority will stray the person from achieving what he/she wants even without having to try it in the first place.

This is when the heart may feel and say something unnecessary that somehow undeniable may affect (little or much) on how one’s bringing itself.

Of course, we do at most time comparing ourselves with people around us, for better or worse. But how do we perceive it in the end, how we digest and understand things will result in whether we learn something valuable or sacrifice all the core values.

Some people look in the eyes of a human being, for expectation and comparison will be to the level of thinking and setting of a human being. At some point of time, people will be looking recognition and confirmation from those around them. Those who succeed to be accepted are either by really achieving it or for a-God-knows-what reason. Those who fail to do so will increase the inferiority complex in themselves.

This is why some who does not want to be evaluated based on the human’s perspective turn to the perspective of God, in which they are looking for a Superiority values that will never make one inferior. In here they know that they will not be rejected from a human perspective, that all words come to them ensuring that they are in fact a chosen creature and there is almost nothing they cannot do if their capability is there. The belief that God created ones for a reason, and for that reason ones is equipped with enough capability to face the world. Having this will not turn someone into a superiority-complex-disease in the community. Instead, they become a unique identity that exceeds the superiority value as the aura is unable to be defined by human beings. Being on the top of the world, beyond a human judgment but still close to their hearts. That will be a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?

That will be a total freedom of yourself and heart from being trapped in your own world and feelings. I wish I will be able to continuously do that in future. Seeing things not from the eyes of someone else, and will never have to bother how they will think and feel about what I did.

I always have the feeling of inferiority when it comes to comparing myself with other ladies whom to me are more feminine and have better ability as a woman (like doing the house cores, arts, designing and arranging their home settings etc). Unfortunately, for me things which are complicated and difficult to handle sometimes are much easier than doing the house cores (it takes me ages to clean and arrange and beautify the house). I cook my own recipes of which most people commented how it looks strange or weird or never tasted something like that before, even if I tried to cook according to the recipes especially when it comes to Malays dishes. A friend of mine suggested for me to better cook other dishes instead of Malays dishes. I cannot explain from where and how I get the ideas of cooking it, thus I called my ways of cooking as a fusion cook.

Well, at a certain point of time having some lucky people around me who are good, nice and devoted people, that achieve things in their life, making good reputation and income, build up a happy family /life, it makes me feel I am nothing compared to that. So, one way to run away from that inferiority complex is by me being or turned into something that is not comparable within the society. I feel safe here. At the time being. Still, perhaps.

There it goes all my weird ways of thinking, behavior and decision-making style. It is still difficult to change or to alter the mindset that i have in me as i have been practising it and doing it for such a long time. A search within in looking for myself, a survival needs to survive. So to whomsoever that will be living with me in the future, hope he will somehow try to adapt and accept those weird things about me.. : )

[3] A Personal Notes
Guess that should be enough for the time being. Hope by the time i post my new entry, this has been digest by all readers. : )