2 years of Parenting

I found out that i never tell this story here..
Perhaps for a record, when one day i might not remember it this clearly anymore.. I may be able to refer it here..

I vividly remembered the series of events on the very same date last 2 years...

It was in the holy month Ramadhan..
My parents in law just came back from Umrah, and i was heavily pregnant on my 36th ++ week. Due to that plus hectic busy week for both of us, we have no chance to pay them a visit, even when they were on transit at the KLIA. On Friday's morning 4th Sep, my mother gave us a call that my parents will come to visit us over the weekends. Considering that someone will be around to see me, my husband decided to fly back home town for two nights.

We went to send him at the airport on Saturday evening, and headed back to KL. I remembered we bought the famous sate at Nilai on our way back.. oh, by the way this sate is the same sate if you are on board of MAS first class or business class seat. Unfortunately, the seats are beyond our budget but the sate from the supplier is affordable to people like us.. :p

It was on the evening of Sunday, 6th September that i felt lesser movement from the baby inside my womb. I was not that worried, thought that perhaps the baby was grown up and bigger now that the space for him/her was lesser. But, that was the only movement i felt for the last 5-6 hours that made me really worry. I kept on tapping my fingers on the big huge belly while whispered to the baby inside 'please make some move so that i wont be too worry about your condition'.. After almost half and hour, the baby made some small movement. Nights before sleep were usually the most active time for the baby to move, but not this time which was the reason for my worries.

7th September 2009 was the public holiday for Selangor for Nuzul alQuran. It was 17th Ramadhan, and my check up date. The worries that i had the night before, made me unable to properly sleep. Thus, i became the first person to visit my doctor that morning. Her office opens at 9.00 am, but i was there since 8.30am. and still fasting. Accompanied by my father.
It felt so long, time has stop to wait for her. It seems forever... When at last the doctor came in at about 10.00 am claimed that she had few labours since last night to take care of. My heart was both pumping fast and relieved to see her.

After some questions asked by her.. included where was my husband. I told her that he is coming back on that night, with my mind reminded me that i must grab myself the doughnut at the airport when we fetch him later (he is supposed to fly back by fireflies, subang). So the doctor asked me to lay down and said "Doktor nak check ye. Kalau bukaan dah 3cm, kita tahan masuk wad terus ye"..

Mind you, that i was expecting a one week mc from the doctor (she promised me on my previous visits heeh); where in my 1-week plans included preparation for the hospital bag, bag to hometown, what type of medication to use to face the labor pain and learn how to give labor. Yes, you read it right.

Guest what? Suddenly the doctor said "Eh.. dah buka 4cm ni.. tak rasa apa2 ke".. i was like, whatttt? oh no.. hubby is not around... oh my.. and the conversation went like this:

Pn Kompius: Apa maksudnya tu doktor?
Dr : *blank mula2* awak dah nak beranak la ni..
Pn Kompius: Err saya dah kena masuk wad sekarang ke doktor?
Dr: Haah la.. kan saya dah ckp tadi..

So it was quite a panic situation (but funny now i think). Rushed to call my dad whom doctor wanted to meet. Doctor prepared all the necessary documents for me to get into the labor room. I called my husband at about 10.30am told him i am about to explode hahaha. He went to become Mr Kompius now asking me what to do, and i told him please come back as soon possible. Then rushing to the airport to check the earliest flight to KL.

I went back to pack up my bag, brought to the hospital. Where in the labour room, i put on the wrong side of the maternity dress. Sorry ye, tak tahu ..tak habis belajar hahaha. Then i opened my laptop with intention on googling 'how to give labour' but realized there was no internet connection. Later, i held my handphone while thinking who can i refer to this time around. I called Siti Zurina told her that i was in the labor room and do not know what to do now.. Asked for her advice, but instead she told me "ala..camne aku nak ajar ni.. ko redah ajelah". hahah

my husband reached the hospital at about 5.50pm. i was almost crying because i thought that i might deliver the baby without him around. dont feel much pain until the doctor came in at about 10.30pm . she told me that it was already 7cm and the water bag broke. so funny that i asked her before if she wants to induce me. remember, i tak habis belajar tadi. and she said no, your water bag will break soon. i heard the 'ploop' sound and water came out. nurse came in asking me if i would like to have any medicine, and i said what are they? hahahah so tak tahu konon2 amiklah option natural.

it was almost 12 mid night that i started to feel the real pain. My legs were shaking to handle the pain. Wow.. takleh tahan, so i requested for a help. Nurse came in and inject me with something. Pethidine kah kawan2? Gitulah rasanya. I did not realized when i felt asleep and suddenly had a weird dream..

I was in the animal kingdom. Where the king is a fierce lion that eat meat, and the bodyguards are all big, black, horror snakes that can eat you just like that.. it was in a group of 'small and fragile' animals consists of cow, buffalo, goat, fish, turtle, kancil..telling each other how hard life has been that the water is almost out, the grass dried out, tanah 'kering kontang' and there is little food around.. In order for survival, we must see the king. But to go to the place where the people eat 'people' like us is scary enough. We go anyway, for the sake of others. But some of them are hiding behind.. When the lion asks why we are there , i was shouting to call the other members to join in :ikan, ikan, kambing, air..

I opened my eyes to see my husband's confused face for me calling those names. and i was like "oh bermimpi..abaikan" and tido balik..

The funny thing was when i felt the urge to push at about 3.30am. Nurse rushed to call for the doctor, another nurse was there to help. But i was telling myself that i want my doctor to sambut the baby, not the nurse.. during that time, only i knew how to use all the things on that bed. rupanya kena pegang alat penahan tangan tu nak meneran kekek . with all the kalut, and the gas i was supposed to 'sedut dgn hidung, dan hembus dengan mulut' turned out to be the other way around. It was quite a while when i asked for water from my husband. He told me "mana boleh minta air sekarang, baby nak keluar tu" and i told him (dlm mamai la ni kan terlebih gas), "nak air nak air juga.." Doctor said Ok, but dont hold for too long. Only after that, i felt a bit better. Baru macam bangun.. dan boleh push.. and the rest is a history.

Now that little girl turns 2 today.
Despite of the up-and-mostly-down time to handle her who apparently love to cry out loud ahahha, but we had and are going to have so much great time with her too. Where her smiles and laughs really make our days..

Happy Birthday my dear, Humaira.
We love you much.
May Allah makes you the best person you can be in this world, and the world after. :)

A refreshing start for 2011

Wonder how long have i left this out until a friend of mine saw me online on YM yesterday and told me it was unbelievable to see me 'online'. She asked how do i do and what happened to my rusted blog. hahahah ok dear friend, thank you for your concern. i was too much adjusting myself in year 2010 that made me depressed and tensed at all time..

Now the starting of 2011, i keep on my mind since the last few weeks i want to be happy, productive, relax and feel great in the year of 2011.. Thinking about that, it does not seems to be that easy.. But, so far it seems so good. I hope this enthusiasm will continues for the whole year and years after..

So, what is the achievement so far?

First, i managed to change to template from a blank-what-she-is-trying-to-achieve to 'something'..at least at the moment.. just to keep the writing spirit alives.. (p/s: People, please say something to cheer me up! hahah)

Then, on my daughter.. This boolat little girl..

Picture of few months back

She turns 16 months and turned to be a soo manipulative girl and a drama queen. I mean, it is really a drama queen..

Picture of few days back

Still boolat, kan...

Third, on my master..
Alhamdulillah.. I received my MSc International Business scroll from UUM October last year..

At last.. it feels so sweet to attend that moment. Though it was raining non-stop from the day we went there till the day we came back, but at least our session was not being postponed like some unluckly fellow..

Ok.. that is all now for now.

A warm-up for the year..

Akhirnya

[1] Hadiah Ramadhan
ALhamdulillah.. akhirnya semalam Abahnya sudah membawa pulang surat beranak dia.. dan secara rasminya dia sudah bernama, menggantikan segala nama panggilan 'sayang', ' baby', 'adik', 'anak ibu', cucu nenek etc...

Walaupun terkejut tiba2 kena bersalin awal 3 minggu (sepatutnya due date 26hb September), dengan pelbagai perkara belum lagi tersedia.. tetapi syukur takde masalah sgt untuk melahirkan dia..

Jadi secara rasminya.. memperkenalkan ahli keluarga baru kami..

Nur Humaira binti Khairul Nizam

Lahir pada jam 4.05 pagi, 08-09-09Hari Pertama

Hari ke-4

Hari ke-5

Hari ke-8

Rupa siapa ek? Yg pasti pipi dia memang bulat :))

p/s: Time kasih shelley sbb tolong announced utk kite.. hehe

[2] Syawal Yang Menjelang Tiba
Alhamdulillah.. walaupun sarat mengandung dan hanya menghitung hari, dapat juga berpuasa selama 17 hari (hari yg kena masuk wad masih lagi berpuasa dan berjaya habiskan sehingga petang itu).. Kire2 bolehlah juga beraya kan :p

Untuk itu dikesempatan ini, saya dan keluarga ingin mengucapkan selamat hari raya aidilfitri kepada semua sahabat yang mengenali diri kami serta para pengunjung blog ini. Maaf zahir batin atas segala kekhilafan diri. Moga2 kita dapat bertemu lagi dalam bulan yang diberkati ini di tahun akan datang.

Kalau ada yang datang ke Melaka, jemput2lah singgah bertandang ke rumah. Walau takde persiapan istimewa sgt memandangkan masih berpantang, inshaAllah air dan kuih tu boleh dihidangkan :D

Salam hormat dan semoga bergembira di hari lebaran di samping mereka yang tersayang.

Dup Dap...

"Water Clock"

Lama tak update di sini.. Banyak juga sebenarnya nak tulis. Ingat2 ada kawan minta kongsi2 pengalaman sekarang.. tapi apakan daya, rupanya bukan senang bekerja, sambil belajar, dan kemudian uruskan hal-ehwal rumah dan juga mengandung masa yang sama.. Teringat dulu, saya sering terfikir bagaimana dan apakah yang berlaku sehingga ada ayat dalam alQuran mengatakan tentang keadaan ibu mengandung yang lemah.. oh yes, the usuall me :p.
Rasanya saya lebih faham sekarang dan dapat menjawab kenapa dan mengapa.

"Kami perintahkan kepada manusia supaya berbuat baik kepada kedua orang ibu bapanya, ibunya mengandungnya dalam keadaan lemah yang bertambah tambah dan menyusukannya selama dua tahun."
(Surah Luqman: ayat 14)

Dulu pun selalu tertanya2 mcmana org boleh muntah2, mcmana boleh rasa nak muntah, apakebendanamanya 'morning sickness' ni.. Sekarang pun saya faham.. hehehe

Ok berkenaan ayat di atas.. secara pemahaman saya ianya adalah kerana pada waktu ini berlakunya proses yang sangat laju (rapid?) di dalam tubuh seorang perempuan itu untuk proses kejadian manusia. Jadinya sel2 tubuh badan walaupun tanpa disedari sebenarnya memerlukan tenaga untuk proses2 itu. Mcm mesin perlukan minyak, walaupun kita hanya perasan mesin tu bergerak tapi tak perasan keadaan minyak yang membantu dalam menggerakkan mesin itu. Jadi proses2 ini mengurangkan tenaga yang ada pada tubuh manusia itu, tambah2 lagi ada bahagian2 mineral tertentu yang digunakan lebih banyak berbanding lain2.. Muntah2 itu pun sbb perubahan hormon badan yang berlaku dengan sangat cepat, jadi tubuh tak sempat nak 'adjust accordingly to the changes'.

Tenaga saya terasa berkurangan amat banyak .. bukan takat tinggal separuh, rasanya selalu sahaja tinggal suku dari kebiasaan.. mula2 dulu kuat2kan diri juga, tapi bila ada kawan pesan jangan paksa2 diri sangat nanti boleh pengsan.. saya sedikit cuak, tidak tahu boleh begitu pesannya.. ada org ckp 'it is a matter of psychology' tapi yang ini saya dah cuba juga utk 'menipu' diri yang saya boleh dan takde masalah sebenarnya.. dan akhirnya saya terkulai layu di hujung katil he he he.. takleh pakai teori tu nampaknya.. Cuma takdelah melayan perasaan amat2.. Kalau boleh buat, buat sikit2..tak boleh rehat dulu2.. nanti2 cuba lagi kan..

Trimester pertama.. bulan pertama saya ingat saya akan OK mcm statistik 5% perempuan yang bernasib baik.. tiba2 pada bulan kedua, alahan menjadi2.. kelakar juga sbb saya akan muntah2 bukan setakat salah makan, tapi kalau basuh pinggan mangkuk, basuh baju hatta melipat baju sekali pun.. pelik, tak kasi mengemas kah.. akhirnya dok je la terbaring.. minyak angin mmg setiap masa ada di mana2.. kat rumah satu, dlm kereta satu, kat ofis satu, dlm handbag satu.. wahhh untung tokei minyak angin time ni..

org cakap selalunya lepas 14 minggu (trimester kedua) dah ok dah.. punyalah tidak sabar saya ingin menjejakkan kaki ke situ.. tambah2 dlm belas2 minggu itu tiba2 saya muntah teruk tak berhenti2 sampaikan rasa mcm ..err.. nak masuk hospital aje. ehhehe setiap kali makan akan muntah, kira2 dlm masa 48 jam saya muntah berbelas2 kali termasuk kena bangun waktu tidur dlm masa 6 jam muntah 4 kali.. masa tu pulak tgh pergi team building utk 3 hari 2 malam.. akhirnya saya tidur lebih banyak dlm bilik dari ikut aktiviti mereka.. kesian kawan sebilik, bila bilik air bau muntah aje..

bila masuk musim ke-dua.. oh oh oh..rupanya belum selesai lagi... cuma dah berkurangan sedikit, badan pun takdelah selemah2nya.. dan dah beransur2 boleh buat kerja2 rumah semula.. muka saya sedikit serabut masa mengandung ni.. (oh, rindukan wajah2 lama ku yang comel itu.. heheh) maklumlah takleh sebarang letak kat muka ni.. bau2 aje kalau silap alamat memang lembik la lepas tu keluar masuk bilik air.. tak termasuk berapa kali tukar sabun mandi, ubat gigi, bedak2.. ingat time2 cenggini kalau ada bau yg bukan2 ya Allah rasa mcm nak lompat terjun bgn aje.. itu termasuklah bau2 masakan.. masa ni juga dah kenalpasti makanan2 berpotensi utk mengubati dan menambah parah situasi.. jadinya sudah lama tak rasa mcmana rasanya daging ayam itu.. saya ingat, satu waktu dahulu bahawa ayam goreng panas2 mmg sedap kan.. kurma ayam, ayam masak lemak cili api.. uhuks.. kicap, segala jenis sos berwarna perang dan coklat termasuk sos tiram.. coklat (uhukss my favourite!!!).. segala makanan masam termasuk buah oren.. cheese.. segala fastfood dari semurah2 harga sampai semahal2 harga (burger tepi jalan sampai carls junior semua takleh you, bau pizza esp. cheese + cendawan itu sungguh memualkan isk).. itu semua adalah antara yg saya fikir apakah saya boleh makan semula selepas ini..

akhir2 bulan ke-6 saya dapati alergik makanan ini berkurangan.. senarai2 tegar di atas masih terpakai.. hahahah tetapi punya sedikit tenaga lebih dari biasa.. dan masa ini saya mula2 dah beli barang2 baby sikit demi sikit.. baru je ok sikit, tiba2 dah masuk 7 bulan.. lepas 28-minggu perkembangan bayi lebih cepat dan berat mereka pun bertambah lebih banyak.. masa ni terasa tiba2 berat bayi itu.. dan dah susah nak tidur, tak cukup tenaga balik.. bagi yg takde pengalaman, bayangkan korang ada beg galas yang diletakkan sebiji buah tembikai seberat 1kg dan bawa setiap masa , mesti akan terasa penat kan kalau lama2.. jadi lebih kurang begitulah ceriteranya..

dan kini..tup tup.. alamak tinggal sebulan lagi sebelum tarikh akhir? banyak lagi tak habis membaca ni.. banyak lagi tak buat rasanya ni.. cepatnya masa berlalu... dan jantung pun berdenyut2 selalu.. dup dap dup dap... Moga Allah permudahkan perjalanan ini.. Amiin..

Terima Kasih

AlHamdulillah..
Majlis walimah di rumah saya di Alor Gajah dan di rumah suami di Kuala Terengganu sudah selesai.

Lelah sepanjang majlis sudah beransur hilang. Bersyukur sebab ada ibubapa serta ahli keluarga yang banyak membantu. Kalau tidak ada mereka, rasanya sukar sekali saya membuat persiapan.

Terima kasih untuk setiap kedatangan, ucapan, hadiah dan kiriman salam. Ramai yang menghantar SMS meminta maaf tidak dapat hadir kerana keuzuran kesihatan, keadaan dan masa. Mungkin rezeki saya ramai yang sakit pula, apa2 pun niat untuk cuba datang saya ucapkan terima kasih banyak2.. Doakan yang baik2 untuk kami..

Pada malam membuka hadiah, terasa bagaikan wish list comes true.. Kami teka2 hadiah yang ada, tak sangka bila dibuka pembalut apa yang kami perlukan diberi tetamu. Utk seorang teman yang saya kenali berbelas tahun lalu, diselitkan pula sekeping surat istimewa untuk saya. Terharu membacanya. Terima kasih teman.

Majlis di Kuala Terengganu disambut dengan kempen pilihanraya. Asalnya tarikh dipilih adalah pada minggu ini, minggu berlangsungnya pilihanraya. Tetapi akhirnya diawalkan atas sebab2 yang lebih baik. AlHamdulillah, Dia yang mempermudahkan segala perkara. Kalau tidak pasti sedikit kecoh kerana pertembungan ini.

Gambar masih belum siap. Kami (saya) juga belum dpt melihat sebahagian gambar sendiri kerana kamera sendiri terlupa untuk dikeluarkan dalam sibuk2 itu. InshaAllah akan dikongsi bila berkesempatan, atau ada yang ingin berkongsi? :D Saya melihat blog2 Farra, Hany dan Mudin terselit sekeping dua gambar di majlis kami.. Mungkin boleh berjalan2 ke sana? :)

Sepanjang perjalanan untuk berkahwin ini, tidak dinafikan ada juga perkara2 yang berlaku. Namun seolahnya dipermudahkan segala urusan dan ada sahaja jalan keluar. Pastinya berkat doa semua, keluarga dan kawan2.. Apa pun sedang dan masih belajar menjadi orang rumah yang baik.. harap2 kelak tuan rumah juga org yg dapat saya bergantung hidup dunia akhirat :)

Terima kasih utk kali ini..

Jemputan Walimah

Kisahnya..

Orang kata kadang2 kita merancang, tetapi sebaliknya yang berlaku. Seharusnya saya menjemput dengan lebih awal, niat di hati juga ingin sendiri menjemput. Mungkin kerana cerita kami ini sendiri adalah kes2 tersembunyi, ramai yang terkejut dan menahan utk bertanya cerita kami.

Luang waktu saya sering kali sedikit terlari. Di saat2 akhir ramai yang tidak sempat berjemput. Walaubagaiamanapun kalau ada kawan2 yang membaca blog ini, tapi tidak sempat mendapat jemputan saya atau ada mengenali kawan2 yang tidak sempat saya berjumpa.. Maaf dipinta..

Untuk itu, dengan seikhlas hati saya ingin menjemput ke majlis perkahwinan saya pada 3hb Januari 2009, di Dewan Sekolah Menengah Sri Pengkalan, Alor Gajah, Melaka. Bermula dari 11.30 pagi - 4.00 ptg. Kalau datang selepas itu, boleh sahaja ke rumah keluarga berdekatan dewan itu.

Silalah datang kalau berkesempatan hadir ke Majlis saya..
Utk peta, boleh rujuk di sini.. http://jemputankami.blogspot.com

Salam hormat buat semua.

Superior vs Inferior

[1] The Postponed Wish
Guess it is quite late to say a happy Ramadhan. But it will never be too late to improve ourself, right? So far alHamdulillah we already fasting for 8-9 days.

I am not sure if i am the only one feeling it, but the environment when the Ramadhan comes is somehow does change. The scenary, the air, the feeling.. Ada sedikit rasa sayu.. But still this is the best month if you want to practise doing good deeds. It is the easiest time around the clock, and around the year to do such things. As if we are smoothly and gently push towards it. If you compare this in the normal months, you can have like thousand execuses but a valid one why not doing it - laziness.

So the remaining 21 days..Let's work it out together for the best! May all of us get the Promised Night - Malam Lailatul Qadr. InshaAllah. AMiin.

[2] My Article
For a certain people, comparing themselves with other will either give a feeling of superiority. Some will have the feeling of inferiority.

The feeling of superiority gives an over confidence and higher ego, if not manage properly will make it difficult for the person to face the life if he/she fails to achieve to his/her expectation. The feeling of inferiority will stray the person from achieving what he/she wants even without having to try it in the first place.

This is when the heart may feel and say something unnecessary that somehow undeniable may affect (little or much) on how one’s bringing itself.

Of course, we do at most time comparing ourselves with people around us, for better or worse. But how do we perceive it in the end, how we digest and understand things will result in whether we learn something valuable or sacrifice all the core values.

Some people look in the eyes of a human being, for expectation and comparison will be to the level of thinking and setting of a human being. At some point of time, people will be looking recognition and confirmation from those around them. Those who succeed to be accepted are either by really achieving it or for a-God-knows-what reason. Those who fail to do so will increase the inferiority complex in themselves.

This is why some who does not want to be evaluated based on the human’s perspective turn to the perspective of God, in which they are looking for a Superiority values that will never make one inferior. In here they know that they will not be rejected from a human perspective, that all words come to them ensuring that they are in fact a chosen creature and there is almost nothing they cannot do if their capability is there. The belief that God created ones for a reason, and for that reason ones is equipped with enough capability to face the world. Having this will not turn someone into a superiority-complex-disease in the community. Instead, they become a unique identity that exceeds the superiority value as the aura is unable to be defined by human beings. Being on the top of the world, beyond a human judgment but still close to their hearts. That will be a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?

That will be a total freedom of yourself and heart from being trapped in your own world and feelings. I wish I will be able to continuously do that in future. Seeing things not from the eyes of someone else, and will never have to bother how they will think and feel about what I did.

I always have the feeling of inferiority when it comes to comparing myself with other ladies whom to me are more feminine and have better ability as a woman (like doing the house cores, arts, designing and arranging their home settings etc). Unfortunately, for me things which are complicated and difficult to handle sometimes are much easier than doing the house cores (it takes me ages to clean and arrange and beautify the house). I cook my own recipes of which most people commented how it looks strange or weird or never tasted something like that before, even if I tried to cook according to the recipes especially when it comes to Malays dishes. A friend of mine suggested for me to better cook other dishes instead of Malays dishes. I cannot explain from where and how I get the ideas of cooking it, thus I called my ways of cooking as a fusion cook.

Well, at a certain point of time having some lucky people around me who are good, nice and devoted people, that achieve things in their life, making good reputation and income, build up a happy family /life, it makes me feel I am nothing compared to that. So, one way to run away from that inferiority complex is by me being or turned into something that is not comparable within the society. I feel safe here. At the time being. Still, perhaps.

There it goes all my weird ways of thinking, behavior and decision-making style. It is still difficult to change or to alter the mindset that i have in me as i have been practising it and doing it for such a long time. A search within in looking for myself, a survival needs to survive. So to whomsoever that will be living with me in the future, hope he will somehow try to adapt and accept those weird things about me.. : )

[3] A Personal Notes
Guess that should be enough for the time being. Hope by the time i post my new entry, this has been digest by all readers. : )

opss.. I did it again

Related link: Kisah Pelbagai

I am not sure how do i updated this.
But basically it was quite an adhoc decision. I received SMSed at 6.30 in the morning from Cik As asking if we want to meet or i have the intention of going to the KLIBF; and i decided to say OK because after reading Hany's blog i feel like having my own book of Ibn Battutah.

And then.. There i was with Cik As, went to Hall 2 (the place i missed on my last visit); it was my luck actually (or is it because Cik As' luck that thrown into me) i got special price (really special!) on Ibn Battutah's book. Thanks a lot to the person at the booth, because of him i managed to buy more books.

Here is my other book lists, on top of previous visit:



From bottom:
1. Pengembaraan Ibn Battutah
2. Sejarah Rasul Ulul Azmi Terbesar : Nabi Muhammad by Tarikuddin Haji Hassan
3. Magazines (price at Rm1/mag):
a) Milenia Muslim (Feb 2008) Cover Story: Hentikan Sensasi Media Malaysia-Indonesia
b)Aniqah Feb 2008 Cover Story: Kanser di kalangan kanak2
c) Forward OCt 2007 Cover Story: Malaysia's Invicisble Street Children
d) Forward Nov 2007 Cover Story: In the Crosshairs:Muslim Charities
e) Forward Feb 2008 Cover Story: Siti Hasmah shining bright under Tun's shadow
4. Kaum-kaum yang pupus by Harun Yahya
5. Detektif Indigo Kembali (3rd series of remaja indigo) by FT
6. CD Muhammad Utusan Terakhir
7. CD Raihan Rangers
8. CD Ana Muslim (Singer Cheb Ali)
9. Free CD on A Call To ReOpen: The Sept. 11 Investigation - Confronting The Evidence


Well, supposed i want to take picture with the winner of Calon Menantu Episod 1 (met him at the Saba booth) , but i managed to snap a photo with FT only.. Courtesy of Cik As' camera as i did not bring my camera.



So i guess..i am really broke now..
Anyone to offer me lunches for a week or two, perharps?

Missing him

"Yom, Jom!"

That will be one of his favourite quotes at all time, for me.
I would have to call him everyday, or else if he is the one who called me, i will be disturbed by at least 3-4 times a day. So, if i were the one to start first, we will talk at most once a day, or seldomly max twice a day.

I did traveled every week just to see him. Especially when he made the phone call and call my name with the soft sound "Yom..." ; and i felt like flying to him now and then. Now, i barely had enough time to go back seeing him.

I enjoyed very much hearing stories he keeps on repeating my name at home when he is playing by himself. I played hide and seek with him, over the phone and he did actually searching for me when the people around him asked him what he is looking for by leaving the phone there. (ha ha ha).

His loves for airplane started with me. He associates anything on plane on me. So does the sea and the sky, and Ultraman, and Shreek and CalCium! He talks on fish with me. He imitates my words, he repeats sounds i made, he shouts telling my mom i'm back when he sees me at the front door. He eats what i eat, make my mom confused because he usually does not want to eat it. He sleeps like me (when i was small:P).

And today he is TWO.
Yes, i am missing him today.

Kisah Pelbagai

[1] Kisah Awan




kisah ini,
kisah diawangan.
pada dua dan yang menghampiri lapan,
tiada padanya keliru atau resah.
kerana awan itu..

dah sungguh,
tidak tersangkakan,
tiba pada dua dan yang menghampiri lapan.

kisah ini.
masih panjang ceritanya,
kerana awan tak pernah berhenti satu di tempatnya.


[2] Kisah KLIBF 2008

Took leave, and went there on 4/4/08, when the ladies friend pushed me to buy a book: Surat Ungu Untuk Nuha by Noor Suraya. They highly recommended this book.. Seeing the book at first, i have this kind of look on my face. I would consider myself quite a 'heavy reader', and i touched story like this once in a while only. But as Aida stressed out i will like it, so i just give it a try. I was lucky indeed, the writer was there.. She signed the book for me with this message:

Salam sayang buat Zue Ika,
Benarkah tidak semua laut akan menemui pantai?

Kasih,
Noor Suraya.


i don't have the answer.. do you?

p/s: Aida eyes go green on me.. ahhahaha kalau tidak ibu2 mau pulang cepat, dan saya dah start sakit kepala , tentu dah minta mereka pulang dulu nak beli buku lain..

ok, ini buku2 yg saya beli..



1. A-Z Sulaman Manik (jgn tanya kenapa beli, sebab saya pun tak tahu..hahahah)
2. Siri Tokoh Cendekiawan Islam by Sulayman Fayyad:
a. Ibn Battutah Pengembara Islam
b. Ibnu'l -Awwam Tokoh Pertanian
c. Jabir bin Hayyan Ahli Kimia
d. Ibn Malaka Tokoh Ilmu Kinetik
(mmg cita2 nak kumpul kisah2 mereka ni, mana tahu boleh guna kemudian hari. buku nipis2 oklah utk orang2 yg lambat membaca macam saya:D )
3. Yang Bernama Cinta (beli nak cukupkan kuota masuk pertandingan cabutan bertuah, tapi tgk2 bahasa dia pun ok..)
4. 366 Cerita Rakyat Malaysia ( nak baca pada anak buah..hehehe tapi saya pun dah habis terbaca cerita rakyat Iran, 3 biji limau, mcm best jugak..:D )
5. Badai Semalam by Khadijah Hashim (percaya tak, hanya RM2 aje..)
6. Rona Bosphorus by Zaid Akhtar
7. Surat Ungu Untuk Nuha by Noor Suraya

Banyak buku saya tak sempat beli, buku Astronomy di MPH penuh bergambar, cuma RM40 aje. Buku Pengembaraan Ibn Battutah (nampak Hany ada beli.. hint hint * nak pinjam nanti2* ehhehe) , ingat nak cari juga buku yg Incik Rol reviewed, tak sempat cari. ada rasa nak pergi lagi, tapi tak tahu ler sempat atau tidak.. : )

Buku2 FT? saya menantikan Remaja Indigo, buku2 lain hampir semua dah ada kecuali Karbala..
Di tangan pun, banyak buku tak terbaca habis lagi.. Dibeli sejak beberapa bulan lalu adalah beberapa belas, dan baru habis beberapa.. wahahhaha adoii, baca cepat jgn tak baca..


[3] Kisah Kita

Dah buat kiraan Income Tax atau belum? Jangan lupa (termasuk yang menulis ini), tarikh tutup akhir bulan ini.. :)

A True Love Story

[1] Breaking news yesterday; cannot say much anymore. Anyway do check this link out so you are not going to turn up like her.

[2] The posting on Multiplier Effect III is coming soon.. not able to type it right now. (Hope i don't sound stupid when writing on this theory. :P )

[3] Received this from one of the friend. Same story, but different way of telling..

Quote from another friend's reply:

It fits the theme ("the greatest human love of all times). And it also include parts about misconception about Islam. Why did Prophet Muhammad married many women. It explains the reasons for his multiple marriage.

A True Love Story

By: Hesham Hassaballa

She was one of the noblest women around, coming from a very prominent family. She was also quite beautiful and the holder of a considerable amount of wealth, being a prominent businesswoman. To marry her would have been a great feat for any man, and indeed, quite a few of the most prominent and wealthy men in society had asked for her hand. Yet, she rejected them all; already being a widow, she had lost the desire to marry again.

Until he came into her life. He was young man of 25, and although he was also of a noble family, he was an orphan and was not a man of many means. He had made a meager living tending sheep in the hills surrounding the city. Yet, he had an impeccable moral character, and he was widely known as one of the most honest men around. That is what attracted her to him: she was looking for someone honest who could conduct business for her, as she - a woman in a fiercely patriarchal society - could not do it herself. So, he started working for her.

After he came back from his first business trip, she asked her servant, whom she sent with him, about him and his conduct. The servant amazed her by his report: this young man was the kindest, gentlest man he had ever met. Never did he treat the servant harshly, as many others do. Yet, there was more: as they traveled in the heat of the desert, the servant noticed that a cloud had followed them the entire time, shading them from the blazing sun. The businesswoman was quite impressed with her new employee.

Not only that, this new employee proved to be an astute businessman in his own right. He took his employer's merchandise, sold it, and with the profits bought other merchandise that he sold again, thus profiting twice. All this was enough for her: the embers of love in her heart that were once extinguished re-kindled again, and she resolved to marry this young man, who was 15 years younger than she.

So, she sent her sister to this young man. She asked him, "Why are you not married, yet?"

"For lack of means," he answered.

"What if I could offer you a wife of nobility, beauty, and wealth? Would you be interested?" she told him.

He replied in the affirmative, but when she mentioned her sister, the young employee chuckled in amazement.

"How could I marry her? She has turned down the most noble men in the city, much wealthier and prominent than me, a poor shepherd," he said.

"Don't you worry," the sister replied, "I'll take care of it."

Not long after, the wealthy businesswoman married her young employee, and it was the beginning of one of the most loving, happiest, and sacred marriages in all of human history: that of Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah, the daughter of Khuwaylid. When they were married, the
Prophet was 25 years old, and Khadijah was 40. Yet, that did not bother the Prophet one bit. He loved her so deeply, and she loved him as deeply. They were married for 25 years, and she bore him seven children: 3 sons and 4 daughters. All of the sons died in young age.

Khadijah was a source of immense love, strength, and comfort for the Prophet Muhammad, and he leaned heavily on this love and support on the most important night of his life.

While he was meditating in cave of Hira, the Angel Gabriel came to the Prophet Muhammad and revealed to him the first verses of the Qur'an and declared to him that he was to be a Prophet. The experience terrified the Prophet Muhammad, and he ran home, jumping into Khadijah's arms crying, "Cover me! Cover me!" She was startled by his terror, and after soothing and comforting him for a while, the Prophet was able to calm down and relate to her his experience.

The Prophet feared he was losing his mind or being possessed.

Khadijah put all his fears to rest: "Do not worry," she said, "for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah's soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress."

She then took him to her cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal - a scholar well-versed in the Judeo-Christian scripture - and he confirmed to the Prophet that his experience was Divine and he was to be the Last Prophet.

After his ministry began, and the opposition of his people became harsh and brutal, Khadijah was always there to support the Prophet Muhammad, sacrificing all of her wealth to support the cause of Islam. When the Prophet and his family was banished to the hills outside of Mecca, she went there with him, and the three years of hardship and deprivation eventually led to her death. The Prophet Muhammad mourned her deeply, and even after her death, the Prophet would send food and support to Khadijah's friends and relatives, out of love for his first wife.

Once, years after Khadijah died, he came across a necklace that she once wore. When he saw it, he remembered her and began to cry and mourn. His love for her never died, so much so, that his later wife A'isha became jealous of her. Once she asked the Prophet if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet replied: "She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand."

Much has been made and said about Prophet Muhammad's multiple marriages. There are many who smear the Prophet as a womanizing philanderer, citing his multiple marriages. This is absolute propaganda. As a response to those who malign the Prophet , IF the Prophet were anything of the sort, he would have taken advantage of his youth to do such a thing. But he did not! At a time when it was a common custom to have multiple wives, the Prophet did not marry anyone else while he was with Khadijah.

It was only after Khadijah died, may God be pleased with her, that he married other women. Most of these wives were widows, whom the Prophet married to care after them, or they were the daughters of prominent Arab chieftains, so that the Prophet could form a cohesive Muslim society out of a fiercely tribalistic (and barbaric) Arab culture. The smears against the Prophet fall flat on their faces once the light of truth shines brightly upon them.

In a song about the Prophet and Khadjiah, Muslim rappers Native Deen sing: "We look for stories of love in places dark and cold/When we have a guiding light for the whole world to behold." Many of what we call "love stories" today are nothing more than stories of lust and desire, physical attraction disguised as love.

Yet, I can find no love story more powerful, more spiritually uplifting, more awe inspiring as that of the Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah. It is a shining example of what an ideal marriage is, and if I ever claim that I love my wife, I must gauge my actions with that of the Prophet. As the country commemorates Valentine's Day, and everywhere we turn this month, "love is in the air," I cannot help but reflect upon, what is to me, the greatest of all love stories: that of Muhammad and Khadijah. Even with all of its amazing and creative talent, Hollywood could not have come up with a story greater than this.

Hesham A. Hassaballa is a physician and writer based in Chicago.
You can visit his blog at www.drhassaballa. com.

selamat hari guru

nothing much to say and update.
still tired after quite a long break.. just came into the office today.
went to south korea from night of 7th may till early morning of 13th May.
it was a good trip since i went there with good friends; went to different places and listened to view from different angles. get almost everything i want, so inshaAllah (unless everything is being paid and i was given pocket money) seoul will not be in my shortlist place to go in the next few years... anyway, being to a place where we are quite familiar does make a different.. :)

and for today.. i just want to wish everyone each and every single person who have taught me directly or indirectly, to my teachers who taught me to read and write, my ustaz & ustazah who taught me to read alQuran, to friends who taught me about life, to outsiders/foreigners in my life that make me learnt something, to my colleagues and my staff who taugh me to think, to the bloggers out there that keep on writting good stuff for me to read, think and practise; and foremost to Allah SWT for giving me the oppurtunity to have the knowledge - thank you and thank you and Thank You. AlHamdulillah.

to all teachers : Selamat Hari Guru. Happy Teacher's Day. May all of you and us too become good teachers for the future generations. Implant good things and teach good values to them, so that they will become wonderful great leaders in the future. InshaAllah.

:)